Inspired by the Korean series Age of Youth – 청춘시대.
One day you will drown and will come to accept it.
You will lie still halfway between the land and the bottom of the waters. Breathing becomes effortless after you’ve fought to reach the surface in vain; all you can do is lie still and accept the position you’ve been placed in. You are alone. No one willingly settles in that place between the surface and the water.
You are a fool. You cease to wonder. You cease to wonder for a long time.
A hand reaches to grab you.
Someone is there. But that someone is not trying to pull you up, nor bring you down. That someone is just there. Stuck in the same position you are in. However, that person cannot seem to let go. That person gradually weighs you down.
Not everyone has the same kind of acceptance you possess; not everyone can maintain that position between the land and the sea for too long. Some people need to hold on to others for strength, but how can you provide someone that very same strength which you are lacking?
You begin to wonder again, but this time your thoughts are different. Contact has been established and that has shifted your thoughts, which are not shrouded in loneliness anymore. Someone else’s survival is contingent upon your stillness. You ought to be content, for now you are serving a purpose in your position…right?
Though, is it in your place to save someone else when you cannot save yourself?
Still not wanting to let go, you hesitate.
Your mind wanders to that place it dared not tread upon: the reason to why you are stuck in the first place. You have painful memories of what occurred on the land and what pushed you to jump in the waters.
You remember how you regretted that decision, you remember fighting your way back to the land, you remember all the “what ifs” which went through your mind the beginning of your settling days, and you remember the day you stopped wondering – the day you stopped believing.
You remember everything, and that is why you have to let go.
You wonder as you gaze upon the face of that person who looked up to you, who depended on you for survival, who is now drowning so you could save yourself…you wonder what that person is thinking. You probably are both wondering what the other is thinking.
It does not matter. Your decision is made and you have decided to give it one more chance. Sometimes, you have to save yourself before saving others. You have learned that the hard way.
As you return to the land, you realize that the one holding you back is no one but yourself.
Your past self may have drowned, but you are here. You should be here. You just never gave yourself that chance. It is time to do that now; you are on land so keep walking and never think of yourself as a fool again. Let go and move on.