Awkwardness: Stages of Having a Crush

Crushes *sigh*.

Having a crush is surely one of the most mysterious, beautiful, yet disgusting things about our strange humor nature. A crush, or as I’d like to call it in “grown-up” terms infatuation, is to like unhealthily obsess over a person, dreaming about them day & night, and often think about being with them endlessly. Sometimes these thoughts can be so intense that they can distract you from functioning “normally” (as if you weren’t weird enough anyways) in your daily life. Psychologists would argue that this would perhaps be a mental disorder, going by their logic!

So here are the stages of having a crush…These stages may will be relevant to girls having crushes only.

1 – The “Oops” Stage:

Aptly named, the “Oops” stage signifies that moment you started thinking about your crush, making yourself foolishly fall for him.


2 – The “Excitement” Stage:

At first, you’re really excited about having a crush and you can’t contain yourself. You feel all kinds of uncomfortable physical pain and torment, which you dub as “butterflies in my stomach” or “heart skipping a beat/beating so fast”.


3 – The “Online Stalking” Stage:

Then you start stalking your crush’s social networking websites. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, Google+, even his old MySpace which he stopped using. No source of information about him slips away from your great twisted stalker-ish mind.

On his Facebook profile, your crush may list Justin Bieber as one of his favorite artists and you’d still love his taste in music – hell, you may even start listening to Bieber and saying out loud (in front of him) that he’s the greatest artist ever just to impress them, thusly losing all your sense of individuality and dignity.


4 – The “Real Life Stalking” Stage:

You’re more bold, now that you know what your crush is virtually like. So you decide to stalk him in real life, watching him creepily from afar…


At all times and in all contexts…


5 – The “Craving” Stage:

You’re now at the peak of your crush. You want him…so bad. Everybody knows it because it’s so damn obvious when all you do is look him like this…


6 – The “Reality-Check” Stage:

It’s been a long time and there is no progress in your relationship (perhaps because it’s non-existent since you won’t talk to him!) so you start thinking of reasons to why your crush may not like you. You feel very self-conscious at that time and try to avoid your crush as much as you can.


7 – The “Escape” Stage:

You start to tactfully end your “crushing state” by…crushing it (no pun intended). You make yourself pretty upset and guide all your resources towards ending the crush.


8 – The “Disappointment” Stage:

You have succeeded in making yourself miserable as hell by convincing yourself your crush will never like you back (even though you’ve never talked to him) so you feel like it’s the end of the world and you should go rot in a hole somewhere till they find stray cats nibbling on your cold, dead body.

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9 – The “Rebound” Stage:

You find another crush to get over your old crush and you start all over again…


One final note, don’t let having a crush get too much to you. Often times I find myself unable to focus on important things, my mood becomes bad, etc…just because of a crush. Just relax. We all go through this. Just don’t let it affect you too much, and treat it as if it’s something to have fun with.


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